maniasdoor

Shannon

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eva by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

eva

my name is eva. - i am thirteen years young, and i'm a mess of paper cut skin and poorly applied makeup. i live in a house with a hole in the roof that gives me a view of the stars each night, and i converse with each and every one of them, for i've known them my whole life. - in my spare time, i like to watch isaiah wait at the bus stop, cigarette dangling between his insect-leg fingers, and pray he won't notice. isaiah is the boy that i couldn't take my eyes off of since the day i first saw him in the schoolyard, writing obscenities over the paintings the younger children did of zoo animals and rainbows and lollipops. - sometimes, i

unsent letter by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

unsent letter

dearest hewhoshallnotbenamed, the truth is, every single night i do clumsy pirouettes in my bedroom to your illegible handwriting, the poetry by you that i never got to read. i want to inhale you like stardust and bring you back to life whenever the tears gather on your long lashes as you remember the pain you experienced as a child. i want to burn your recollections like newspapers among firewood and help you to forget them. [but only in a perfect world can that occur.] the truth is, i like to wear diamonds around my neck and pretend that you gave them to me under the stars beneath your bedroom window, and kissed me tenderly and forgot ev

stained glass rain by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

stained glass rain

i want you to kiss the stained glass raindrops off my face and save me from the confines of this room full of kids worse than me. (i will never stop loving you as long as i live; even though they told me not to.) - i can't read, for the words become as empty and meaningless as braille to my young eyes. nothing takes my mind of the compliments you gave me, the dreams i had of you under pale skies; my bliss lost to a black hole. (why can't i be everything you live for?} - i dreamt i traced your collarbones with a hesitant finger and they disintegrated beneath my fingertips like ash. you were always so deli

love destroys. by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

love destroys.

t. there once was a girl who fell in love in a school for the psychotic and abhorrent; the statistics that make up our wasted generation. she was swept away by his pretty eyes and oblivious to his separate personality. she worshipped every word he spoke, but he couldn't see beyond her cracked skin and paper lips. [she wept ribbons of tears at the thought of this perception he had of her.] r. in an attempt to forget him, she medicated herself into the bliss she had always been searching for, where scenery became poetry and the faces of strangers become distorted images before dilated eyes. thoughts of him were temp

lost in the sky by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

lost in the sky

I was so high that I could see the Eiffel Tower through the trees of the park and we were messing with each others' heads, putting ourselves inside the minds of the Columbine victims; paranoid as hell. I would give anything to return to the days when I was safe in the sky with the birds and airplanes, lost in every detail and the color of my eyes in your mirror. [you were everything. I was everything. now I am nothing and you are still everything.] we used to sit in your room, listening to music that tore us between worlds, leaving us oblivious to the fact that we were misfits that no one could stand. we lost ourselv

bipolar by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

bipolar

my emotions are like spilled paint, flooding the streets with an array of manic colors. the fumes rise into the air like the angel-sweet smoke from a stick of incense, and my peers are getting high off my mania laced with misery. [they'll never forget me after i'm gone, my epitaph depicting my fame]. i'm staring at the city skyline from the edge of a cliff, questioning my existence yet falling in love with the incandescent lights under the midnight sky, reflecting in my midnight eyes. i try to refrain from leaping off, slowly letting go of my education, my enemies, the memories that haunt my head like wailing pol

the scream by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

the scream

sixteen years of repressed anguish escape my charred lungs like black balloons. ascending. exploding in the sky. descending towards the ground. he tells me i think i'm so special with hatred in his sapphire eyes, and the world grows as still and silent as a clock without hands, as frightening as a nightmare in which everyone is watching you, but the black lace over your eyes prevents you from eluding them. [we all need a secluded place to escape our unrequited loves and the hypocrisy of our peers]. how could i ever imagine him loving me when i left a chain of destruction and chaos behind me, leaving everyone to recover

smoke. by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

smoke.

i smoke to forget the recollections of the times i was socially unacceptable, the times in which i mattered to no one. [i might as well have been a pebble on the ground.] but i joined a crowd of weeping clowns, and they accepted me like i had always been one of them. and their harlequin tears and handwritten notes full of hatred for everyone around them didn't seem stupid at the time. [but it had always been that way.] now i have nothing but a plant that distills the inevitable memories into something completely nonexistent. i can see into the future, and it doesn't look so grandiose. [the stars have never been t

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Lovesick Dementia by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

Lovesick Dementia

I shut my eyes to the dirge of today; I open them again and the colors return. (I wish I knew just what to say.) Your beauty is that which words cannot convey, And I am tangled in the eloquence of your voice: I shut my eyes to the dirge of today. I dreamt of you telling me you would stay, Forever embracing me, whispering my name. (I wish I knew just what to say.) I wish you and I could run far away, Two girls, anonymous and carefree: I shut my eyes to the dirge of today. I yearned for your return like you said yesterday, But I am too foolish for you. (I wish I knew just what to say.) I saw the field in which we would lay, And

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It's not sad by emptyplayground, literature

Literature

It's not sad

I'm not sad, really. Just lost. And tragedy is what makes the most sense. So I cling to it and suck all the poison out until it burns through my eyes and turns my blood from red to blue. My heart pumps cold blood into broken veins. I pour black smoke into my brain instead of oxygen. It permeates the broken folds and seeps back out my skull. My parents say that ADHD means that my brain is folded wrong. It makes me think of people with twisted spines, how they lean to one side instead of standing straight up. My brain is crooked like a broken body; I look in the mirror and see a crippled girl with a back brace and wide green eyes. I look at chi

Baby by Lorijn-Lammes, literature

what i've become. by bleed-for-me-darling, literature

Literature

what i've become.

i think i've become a smarter person since i met you. you taught me a lot of things, you know. like how to deep fry ice-cream, and how to catch dragonflies by their wings. you also taught me what it feels like to be alone. after you left, i forgot how to deep fry ice-cream and the dragonflies always seemed to slip away between my fingers. but i never forgot what it feels like to be alone. not once. my mom says i've become a stronger person since i met you. i know she's only lying to make me feel better. the truth is, you made me selfish. you sang me lullabies and kissed me in front of my parents and let me sneak bites of your food at restau

coronary block by Awasteof-paint, literature

Literature

coronary block

it’s 7 o’clock in the morning in the eastern time zone, and i’ve hurt you too much. i want to knock on your door, but it’s too early/late to talk to you about my regrets and what i’d do to have you back. so i will let you keep sleeping. i will let you keep dreaming about all the girls you’ve replaced me with. now it has been 16 years, 8 months, 4 weeks, 2 days, and 1 hour since my mother gave birth to a complication who cried salty tears. now that complication is seventeen years old, and she still dissects the time into two, even when the math isn’t correct. her tears are now saltier than

yandere by nyh-win-95, literature

Literature

yandere

bus forty three pulls into the terminal and the corners of her pursed lips tug upwards into an unwanted awkward smile. she cannot help herself. it has been sevenyearsandsixmonthsandfivedays since she last heard his husky whisper and [but?] she will not kill to see him. she dislikes Change, not just because it is Hard [to take] but also because it is Heavy [on her heart]. he steps down and she takes his suitcase. she is dying [to know him again]. they sit down to coffee, decaf. it is scalding and hot and bitter. she will forever remember how it sticks to the roof of her mouth and how she turned into a ticking bomb when he hits her with

for i am. by nyh-win-95, literature

Literature

for i am.

they christened you the death angel and ripped your wings into fluttering feathers of pincushions; deformed your halo into a silhouette of a crown of thorns; castrated you, and left your wretched bodymindsoul to rot where the cavalries swept past they've asphyxiated the kite, and ended the hellhole you never wanted to be in anyway. ; i used to

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bipolar by maniasdoor, literature

Literature

bipolar

maniasdoor

About maniasdoor

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 15 years
www.myspace.com/maniasdoor
She / Her

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My Bio

i don't write to be good at it. i write to keep from imploding and to stay sane. a certain boy that i'll never get over is the inspiration for the majority of my works. and by the way, i'm shannon. i'm sixteen. i live in spokane, washington and i can't wait to get the hell out of here and experience better things (if that even exists anymore.) i'm a very reclusive and anti-social girl, and you won't see me getting out much. i prefer reading, writing and spending hours on the computer to hanging out with people or participating in so-called "fun" activities. i'm not very well-liked and i don't really like a whole lot of people either. i tend to fall for the wrong people about 98% of the time.

Current Residence: an infestation of ignorance.
Favourite genre of music: indie. riot-grrrl. rock. alternative.
Favourite photographer: many people.
Favourite style of art: psychedelic. gothic. surreal.
MP3 player of choice: video ipod.
Favourite cartoon character: patrick star.

Favourite Visual Artist

mark ryden. david firth. victoria frances.

Favourite Movies

the tracey fragments. american beauty. donnie darko. edward scissorhands.

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

jack off jill. bright eyes. marilyn manson. kimya dawson. nirvana.

Favourite Writers

sylvia plath. chuck palahniuk. ellen hopkins.

Other Interests

good books. poetry. the macabre.

Posts

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maniasdoor

May 27, 2009

yet another theme challenge.

0 min read

01. letter -  http://maniasdoor.deviantart.com/art/unsent-letter-124078046 02. sticks and stones - http://maniasdoor.deviantart.com/art/eva-124181799 03. birthday 04. immortal 05. circus 06. abandoned 07. nosebleed 08. mother [or father, or both] 09. sunrise 10. distraction 11. habit 12. fuck 13. love 14. waste 15. skinny 16. eyes 17. white noise 18. impulse 19. addiction 20. desecrate 21. death 22. low 23. heartbeat 24. first kiss 25. tomorrow 26. sweet 27. fog [or mist] 28. can't 29. village 30. time 31. forget okay, update: i'm doing a lot better now. my uncle, who's staying with me and my family for a few da

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maniasdoor

May 24, 2009

no idea for a title comes to mind.

0 min read

i am feeling quite despondent and moody (surprise, surprise), and i am unable to think of anything worthwhile to write about. but if you give me a really cool prompt, i just might be nice and write something for you. i apologize tremendously for the lack of deviations lately, but i have been brain dead since i quit taking every single one of my medications cold turkey (except for accutane, which is for acne). maybe that wasn't such a smart idea. anyways, the main point of this journal is that i want you to send me some usernames of people to watch. i feel highly underrated on here, and i'm looking for some other awesome writers (although i

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maniasdoor

May 21, 2009

being locked up gave me second thoughts...

0 min read

yes. it happened. yesterday morning, they locked me in juvenile detention; away in a cell where barely any light shone through the window and an infestation of germs were gathering on the walls, sink and bed. they confiscated my glasses since they thought i'd attempt to hurt myself with them. i paced the length of the room with blurry vision and no books or paper and pen to keep me occupied. the whole reason i was in there was because i had violated my at-risk youth petition one too many times by running away and smoking pot (which i kind of don't want to do anymore. it's getting blatantly pointless and the highs, those lovely highs, are g

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Profile Comments 432

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SeasonsOfHell

May 2, 2012

hello, all! i'm surprised that people are still looking at this old account of mine; i sadly lost the password to it 3 years ago and did not mean to abandon it. well anyway i dwell here now <--

thank you all so much for the lovef

faithlessdx

Sep 17, 2011

hey, it's not easy, but you can cut the ties that hold you back. You can leave your old life behind and never look back. There are better paths than what I've settled with so far, but still. Right now I'm 11 time zones away from the people I had to leave. I don't plan to ignore them forever, but you've got to take care of yourself, too.

Sorry for projecting so much right now; I'm currently sinking down. I don't mean to sound like I doubt you, I'm sure you're strong enough to get to where you want to be.

bleedingcherrytrees

Sep 12, 2010

_{hey this is wastedxxwishes with a new account. if you want to keep watching my work, please watch this account! thanks <3}

sadeyesbrokenglass

Oct 30, 2009

for all of my old watchers who are looking at this:

i have a new account because i forgot the password to this one. you may watch me here:

- [link]

thanks!
<3

sinner564

Jul 20, 2009

For Maniasdoor's friends.

At this point in time she won't be able to get on her account. She's in a treatment center for the next few months. I'm her roommate right now so she asked me to inform you all that she's alive and will get on A.S.A.P
If you have questions or would like me to relay a message to here i'd be happy to do so.

NossyVG

Aug 11, 2009

Is there a way to contact her?

sinner564

Aug 15, 2009

If you give me your E-mail or Phone number i can give it to her. or you can E-mail her at shannonm@tamarack.org